Musings in my Corporate Life...- Part - 2

 

Musings in my corporate life....- Part - 2
(This is a collection of anecdotes and incidents which happened in my corporate life and a few of them heard from my friends.) – November 2022

 1    During my consulting days in 1998, we had a client who was a renowned classical singer    and was also well known in the film industry. He was a phenomenon with a voice     unmatched and definitely a God’s gift.

Once, when the singer found that his close relatives who were managing his affairs and business had messed up the business resulting in huge losses, he wanted us, as auditors to examine and rectify the mess.

When we found that more than few crores have been swindled and lost in the business, the singer wanted us to quantify the losses. He wanted to close all the liabilities arising out of this business mess, and we helped him complete this work and ensured all the liabilities were closed with Bank and other institutions.

During the closing discussions on this assignment, when he understood that the close relative had swindled few crores of rupees, we thought he would initiate legal action for the recovery of it.

But to our surprise, the singer asked us to leave the matter and said he just wanted to know the quantum of loss and not any action to be initiated. He philosophically narrated – “I came to Chennai about 30 years ago in mid-1960’s, when my father bought a train ticket and gave Rs.22/- for my initial expenses. My capital is only that Rs.22/-. What I earned in my career was what God destined that I should earn, and the same God destined that I lose few crores of rupees. So to me, both the inflow and outflow is not because of me. That is the reason I wanted you to leave the matter and close it”.

Amazing philosophy, but very true..

2    My team identified a new concept of “Office Room” which has worked out very well in office. The concept came from scenes from the movie “Sivaji The Boss”, a Rajnikant starrer and a big hit movie in 2007. In the movie, when any individuals or politicians create any problem for the hero, he will ask them to go to “Office Room” which is shown as a closed room. When they enter the room, the next scene will show them coming out of the room, totally rattled and with clothes torn and they accept whatever the hero says after.

As in the movie, any tough supplier or any issue which requires tough consultations would first be handled and negotiated by our team. When the issue was not getting resolved, then the team informs their boss about it. Immediately, the team is told to ask the supplier or the other outsider to visit the “Office Room”.

My colleague or me sit in the “Office Room”, discuss and make the supplier accept to our terms or make his life very tiring and wear him out, to ensure that he just accepts it at the end. The term became famous internally, and even some suppliers or consultants when told that they have to go and visit the “Office Room” knew what was in store and negotiated further and closed the terms with the team itself. 

3    My friend was a CFO candidate shortlisted by a start-up in Bangalore. The guy was very close to the promoters and knew them from their first start-up days. They also wanted this guy since they knew about his competence and also the added comfort that he was known to the promoters and shared similar values and ethos.

     However, as the significantly large stake was held by couple of Equity Investors, they did not consent to this hiring and it was dropped. Such incidents are quite common today, when the Promoters lose their independence in hiring key management personnel where their comfort is also paramount but discounted by the investors.

     From Investors perspective, their favourite comment is always that they do everything for creating value for the start-up, but at what cost….? No answer. 

4    Talking about investors, got to know about couple of conversations which one may say, was rash and un-diplomatic, but to the other, it was right.

a.      When there was a “Rolls Royce” car parked in the cellar parking, investor who noticed it commented to his colleague – Your money is in the form of the car… A nasty remark but cannot be missed.

However, it is a fact that few promoters bought fancy cars or invested in fancy bungalows once the investment flowed in the company from private equity investors. But it cannot be generalised as a passing comment….

b.      When team would present the financial projections for discussion on the investment and also the valuation levels, the investor’s team would pass remark as – these projections are “Hockey stick projections”. Think of it, you realise that such comments are unwarranted but you hear it. This abrasive barb is made when you see the sales to be practically NIL in probably the initial years and shoots up in subsequent years giving a visual graph of a ‘Hockey stick’… Whatever may be the reason, there is always a diplomatic way to communicate it… 

5    Few businessman or CEO of companies has the habit of using their favourite words – “Do it now, today, immediately.” The phrase can be in any combination. They will not listen to any points explaining that such work cannot be done immediately due to various factors. And living in India, every activity has its own timelines wedded with many external factors and you just cannot break it and be successful in completing the tasks. The best way is to hear them and try to do your best. 

6    In recent times, when you interview Gen-Z kids (in their 20's), you come across very new personal traits which were not seen even 10 years ago. These kids are very sharp, clear in their outlook and tuned to look at opportunities in every job they take up – the days of individuals wanting a long career, start small and grow big as years pass by are a clear “NO” to these kids. They want instant gratification, instant growth and instant…..

One of the typical questions they ask is on the number of work days – five day week or six days… is a definite question. And in many industries, it is six day week even now in India. These Gen-Z kids accept it grudgingly and look to change at the first opportunity to a place where it is five-day week.

A favourite topic of discussion amongst these Gen-Z kids is on “Work Life Balance”…. They will tell you that he or she joined a company because it provides a good “work life balance”….

Have you ever heard of this phrase “Work life Balance” in your entire career even 10 years ago… Mostly “NO” We cannot understand what these kids intend when they put forward such concept. Even today, I am puzzled to get a correct answer or explanation for “Work Life Balance” in corporate life. 

7    You come across few businessmen for whom construction is a never ending and continuous activity. Ask them and their favourite explanation is – “You have to keep on constructing – whether a building or small modifications in the existing infrastructure. It symbolizes growth. No construction denotes no growth”. Can’t understand their thought process, but cannot agree in the current era where, for a successful business “Cash is King”. Only cash flow generation of a business is success of it with higher valuations and higher cash profits. Any business does not create value only by having huge assets. It can only be a driver to generate cash flows. Favourite statement heard in the lobby – “These businessmen always like the smell of cement…..” so true….   

8    In weddings, amidst young and middle aged people, office staff gets on to the stage for wishing and blessing the young couple. Most of the middle aged and few young individuals have tummy in various sizes – small, medium and large. When all stand and give a pose for the photo and video, one guy will invariably shout and give instruction to the photographer and videographer – “Arrey, make it fast and complete the click and video shoot. People cannot hold their breath for a long time and draw back their tummy and look better in the photo and video….!!!”

You will recollect the well-known advertisement during the mid-2000 when this holding back tummy act was demonstrated by middle aged guys in the advertisement to draw attention of young girls…And it was an advertisement for soda… 

9     Drivers, office boys generally have the habit of overhearing conversations and observing activities of their bosses. Hence, when they are around, It is better not to be consistent in your activities or have a consistent pattern of work.  One should always have surprise element in your activities. Else, they are too sharp to notice and judge you by the activities or conversations and go around with many gossips and unnecessary comments. 

10     Art of questioning – When you interact with individuals, you can determine their knowledge level from their questioning itself. You find Individuals who only have base level knowledge, and end up asking 2 questions on any subject. It clearly denotes the shallow knowledge level. By experience, you can judge that any person who asks the 3^rd question on the subject, it indicates good level of depth of understanding of that matter. Not that he is an expert, but has got a base grip on the subject. 

11     Quotes and comments heard – 

            i.    In discussions with Investors, you can hear their favourite saying – “Where is a skin in the game from the Promoters?” Many large projects or turnaround plans will have this issue. Promoters point of view is that we have created the business till now. Investors point is that without any or little capital flowing from the Promoters, Investors feel it is a risky proposition. It is true from both sides.. 

           ii.    Planning without money and communicating a good business story is an art. Some businessmen are good at it and convince the team also. Whether they are successful in such ideas is always a question mark. It is similar to the popular Tamil saying – வெறும் கையில் முழம் போடுவது | Make money out of thin air!! The literal meaning of this Tamil phrase is…. Only if there is an object like a flower, the elbow can be measured. 

         iii.    In corporate life, when you win in a legal case, it really gives a “feel of High”. You really go through it and enjoy the success in a case in court / Tribunal. 

         iv.    “Creating a debt is tough, and managing such debt is much easier”. A true statement. 

          v.    Few businessmen treat sales equals profit (sales = profit). Any revenues collected will be spent without understanding that there is a cost element and the balance is only profit. Such business, end up in cash deficits and requires immediate correction.  

         vi.    One Colleague had this quality of putting the two people on a con-call along with him, when one person has called to complain about the other. This ensures that the two complaining people have no other option than to close the issue and no more “panchayat” is required!!     

12         A true statement in the world of MONEY MONEY MONEY…..!!!

-  Venkatesh 

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Disclaimer: The incidents narrated above are adaptation of events, either experienced by me or told to me. They do not represent the actual events. The characters in these incidents are only a reflection of individuals whom I have interacted in my corporate life or heard from others and any resemblance to any individual is purely coincidental. 

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