Indian Marriages during Corona times..

 Indian Marriages in Corona times..

  

1.    A south Indian marriage was done in Chennai in July 2020. Typically, such marriages are done in a big way in a wedding hall which can easily accommodate more than 750 people and dining hall with capacity of more than 500 people. Such halls are in huge demand and booking is done more than six months prior.

In this marriage also, booking was done much earlier. And during peak COVID times, there were only 50 guests in the hall. It was awkward for guests to see the huge hall almost empty.

The parents had to visit Chennai Corporation and Police Station to get necessary permissions. Any parent would definitely not want to visit a Police Station before a wedding.

Instructions from the Commissioner and Police were not to have more than 50 guests and that their officials will visit the hall to check on the wedding day. What a situation?

And guess what – out of the 50 people, there were 5 people of the nadaswaram / thavil performers, 10 catering persons and the rest only can be guests!!! Which meant only the parents of the bride and bridegroom and very close first circle guests could attend the wedding. On top of it, their names should have been included and provided with e-passes by Corporation….

When anyone entered the main gate, they were first asked to show their Aadhar card and the e-pass and then the guests were checked for temperature, had to sanitize their hands, given gloves to wear on their hands before they entered the hall. Of course, all wearing face masks. Social distancing was a norm, wherein the chairs in the hall were placed with good distance between them. Nobody would have imagined such weird scenes, but sadly that is reality.

Luckily, there was ‘live streaming’ of the wedding planned when it was apparent that none of the close relatives from other parts of India and USA would be attending it. The live streaming was a new experience with seeing the empty hall and all attendees wearing masks, making identity of all very difficult!!

 

2.    Another wedding of a Rajasthani couple was performed in Udaipur in end of June’20. The marriage was fixed in Jan’20 and all arrangements made for a grand wedding. COVID turned everything upside down.

The ‘kundalis’ of the bride and bridegroom for the auspicious time for doing the marriage was available next only during early 2021 and hence the parents went through with conducting the wedding during the Corona times. No alternatives..  

The wedding was performed without the regular pomp and colour associated with such weddings. No horse ride for the bridegroom and no group dancing with band when the bridegroom enters the wedding hall.

As there were only limited trains from each state capital to Delhi during the lockdown, many of the relatives from Hyderabad had to travel to Delhi and then from Delhi to Jaipur. Adding to the pain, people had to stay in Delhi station as people were not allowed to leave the Delhi station.

And from Jaipur, the relatives had to take permission to travel to Udaipur because inter-district travel by road was restricted during lock-down.

A virus creating havoc and making travel a nightmare was unimaginable. Even if anyone would have said in 2019 about such a situation, it would have sounded ridiculous…

 

3.    A south Indian marriage was planned in Boston, USA in May’20, as both the boy and girl were in USA.

Both the parents were in India and planned to visit USA in April’20 ahead of the wedding and had booked flight tickets for themselves and for their close relatives.

By March end, lockdown in India ensured that all international flights were cancelled indefinitely. This came as a shock for the parents and made all marriage plans go awry. Thanks to Corona virus, people had to think out of the box to perform the wedding.

The girl was living in a different city and had cancelled her apartment lease because of her plans to move to Boston after the wedding. In USA, restoring a lease becomes a hassle and expensive. The girl had already got a new job in Boston and had to join after the marriage. Hence postponing the wedding was impractical.

As they say, necessity is the mother of invention… So true..

The marriage rituals were solemnized on Skype. The priests narrated the slokas from a different city in USA and the boy and girl listened to the slokas and went through the rituals as directed by the priests on Skype.

The audience were the parents in India viewing the marriage on Skype..

The boy and the girl attired in traditional South Indian dress and performed the marriage from their home itself. The camera on their iPad captured the images around their Pooja room where the prayers were conducted and all rituals solemnized. The video was transmitted to the parents through Skype. Each of them helped the other with eating sweets and completed all the prayers.

A convention centre which was planned as the venue for the wedding was cancelled, as there was no public gathering allowed in USA during the peak of COVID times and lockdown.

A Skype wedding in 2020!! Unimaginable but true.

 

4.    A Telugu wedding was done in Hyderabad in a resort in August 2020. Generally Telugu weddings are done on a large and grandeur scale with colourful decorations of the wedding hall, large food court with extensive cuisine and with a large gathering of more than 1000 guests.

Because of COVID restrictions, wherein no large gatherings were allowed, it was restricted to 50 guests.

The bride’s father, a businessman, had booked the entire resort having 150 rooms and villas for two days of the wedding.

The plan was to make 150 families visit the resort as guests of the resort. They also would attend the wedding in smaller groups.

In the wedding hall, it was ensured that not more than 50 guests would be around and after blessing the couple would get into the lawns of the resort or their respective rooms/villas.

But whatever you do, these weddings during the COVID times have lost the grandeur and the charm associated with it.  

 

Thoughts and Observations:

 

·         Is the COVID-19 virus a reminder to mankind that nature is much stronger than man? Or is it a reminder to mankind that if man abuses nature, face the consequences.

·         Is the COVID-19 virus a man-made disaster? Some vouch for it but we may not get any proof or answers at all.

·         Indian weddings have always been associated with grandeur and a very happy and memorable occasion. The entire family, extended family and a large circle of friends of both the boy and the girl attend it and make it a joyous occasion. The weddings are conducted for one-to-three days depending upon the extent of deep pockets of the bride’s parents..

·         The Corona times changed all such wedding plans and turned the world upside down.

·         Parents’ mention that the wedding budget during the Corona times have reduced by approximately 50%-60%. Spending about 40%-50% of what was planned has given the parents a very big dilemma and led to confounded thoughts which will take a long time to recover.

·         Parents always express that it is their duty and right to perform grand weddings and wish to spend on it. But the unprecedented scenarios of Corona virus have changed such wedding plans. Some may give the balance 50%-60% amount which was not spent in the wedding in any other form of asset to their daughters.

·         A different angle is that the amount planned and not spent on wedding be donated for any good and deserving cause. Or the amount which was planned for the food at the wedding be donated to serve food to many underprivileged and socially challenged children.

·         Due to the Corona times and lockdown, many jobs have been lost in the wedding industry – including at wedding halls, cooking teams and labour associated with the wedding halls. Even numerous ancillary and indirect jobs in conducting such weddings are lost. It has severely affected their livelihood. If you consider this scenario, then conducting grand weddings are socially right as it becomes the livelihood for many hundreds of families…..

 

-       Venkatesh

 

Disclaimer: The marriages narrated in this blog are adaptations of the events, but does not imply the actual incidents.