Opinion always has two sides

 

Opinion always has two sides

 Uncle met Shruthi at a family function and enquired about her married life. Pradeep and Shruthi were happily married for more than two years. “Yes Uncle, we are doing well and happy”, replied Shruthi.

Shruthi vividly remembered the parting comment she made to Uncle that day, “Uncle, Every opinion has two sides. You presented only one side and do not know the other side, which is my side of the opinion. I don’t wish to tell my side of the opinion nor is it required to be told also. I thought you were wise …”!!!

Shruthi had a comfortable life with her doting parents providing her the best in life. Her younger sister and she had the best of childhood. Shruthi did her engineering from a reputed college and got campus placed in a large software company.

She met Pradeep during their training period in office and immediately became good friends with similar likes and dislikes.

Both were placed in the same project team which managed the same client and time flew with both of them interacting more frequently. Getting to know each other better over two years, their friendship blossomed and both wanted their relationship to be taken to the next level with both finding comfort and understanding between one another.

Pradeep had a life full of struggles and took help from friends and relatives and completed his engineering. When he was hired by a large software company, he found a big gateway to financial freedom. All his thoughts about expenses and sources to meet it every month had become history.

Few months later, when both had decided to get married, Pradeep had conveyed about it to his parents, who were initially sceptical about it. However, Pradeep, being a very good communicator, ensured his parents were convinced and understood their bonding and the conviction about their relationship being strong and mature.

When Shruthi’s father had declared that he was looking out to find a correct match for her, she opened up, “Dad, I need to discuss with you and Amma on my marriage”.

Mahesh, a perfect doting father was short-tempered, immediately shot back at Shruthi, “Why, have you become a big girl that you don’t trust your dad on your marriage?”

“No dad, I have listened to your every advice and followed it dutifully. But I also have a mature brain and a clear conscience and wish to inform my thoughts on it now”.

“You are not even listening to me on it before giving your inputs”.

“Why, do you think I don’t understand, Shruthi? You will now come up with a story that you are interested in someone, and that your mother and I have to accept it and move forward”, Mahesh retorted.

“Understand that as parents, we have so much interest in your life and your well-being”, Mahesh continued. Shruthi’s mother intervened and softly asked her daughter to speak about it.

“Amma, I am in a relationship with Pradeep, my colleague at office. He is also an engineer from one of the top colleges in India. We have been good friends for more than two years. Our understanding and wavelength is a perfect match and we are confident that our relationship and bonding is strong to make a good marriage and couple”, Shruthi replied to her mother.

Mahesh, seeing his daughter talk with so much clarity, immediately stopped the conversation and said that he required more time to think about it.

Shruthi was a bold and self-confident girl, having grown in an atmosphere where confidence and boldness was a virtue. Always, there is a very fine line between confidence and over-confidence. But self-confidence is a good quality which when imbibed from childhood definitely gives an edge to every individual.

She was a caring girl having utmost care for her family. As soon as she started earning, she was very keen to give gifts to her parents, sister and grandparents. She found small joys in these gifts when her parents were all in smiles. Her grandpa expressed his happiness and told her that these small gifts, irrespective of its value were priceless and gave joy to the entire family.

Mahesh called his brother-in-law and asked him to speak to Shruthi and reason out to her about her choice. He wanted him to explain about the risks involved in such choices and its long term implications in life. Mahesh reasoned out that Shruthi was getting carried away about her choice in marriage and that commercial wisdom is essential when anyone finalizes the choice of relationship.

Having the mandate, Shruthi’s uncle told her to meet him on the terrace in the evening. Shruthi guessed what was in store for her in these discussions.

Shruthi met her uncle and after all regular greetings and topics; her Uncle came to the main point of discussion and opened up, “Shruthi, your dad told about Pradeep. My suggestion is that you should be clear on what you are getting into and whether it will be a correct decision in the long run. Pradeep may be a good individual, but in today’s commercial world, financial stability and background is definitely needed for any individual’s growth. Have you thought about all these aspects?”

Shruthi immediately retorted, “Uncle, you are only talking with inputs dad has given you. I have discussed all these aspects at length with Pradeep and I am clear about it. Pradeep is educated, well-mannered and has the fire to grow in his career. I am not bothered more than this and also know about his present financial standing and family’s background”.

“More importantly, we both like each other and are confident that we will become a perfect couple. I don’t want any more inputs from anyone”, concluded Shruthi.

Later, when Shruthi mentioned about the discussion with Uncle to her sister, her outspoken sister remarked, “Just leave it Shruthi. These ‘Boomers’ will always advise us, whether you wanted it or not. Just hear it and let it go. Boomers can never understand the millennial kids. We can take care of ourselves better”. Shruthi and her sister represent kids of the millennial generation.

Today, parents cannot completely understand these kids. Even talking on the mobile phone is different. Any young girl, more so a teenager, talking on the mobile is barely audible to anybody around, but heard very well at the other end. The hissing sounds which one hears raises more questions than answers to the parents!! And a young boy talking on the mobile, will always keep moving away from you if anyone gets near to him!!!

Months later, when Mahesh had called Pradeep home for discussions, this topic on the choice of the boy was brought out again by Uncle to Shruthi.

Shruthi pulled aside her Uncle and said firmly, “Uncle, why don’t you understand. Every opinion has two sides. You presented only one side and do not know the other side, which is my side of the opinion. I don’t wish to tell my side of the opinion nor is it required to be told also. I thought you were wise …”!!!

Few months later, Mahesh and his wife, consented to Shruthi’s marriage proposal and proceeded with it.

Uncle, who had spoken a lot on behalf of Mahesh, felt he had made a mistake by trying to convince Shruthi, when parents themselves agreed to the proposal later; and he had become the odd man out and a villain in the piece.

A late realization that giving advice in family relationships when you are an outside party and not parents or connected directly to the individuals involved, has its own limitations brewed with unnecessary comments and a spoiler in relationships later.

-       Venkatesh