'Arranged' Love Marriage

‘Arranged’ Love Marriage

   -   (A Fictional Short Story)

Lakshmi was tense and walking up and down the stage of the marriage hall. The ‘muhurtham’ time was approaching and she knew that she would be relieved of all pressure once the marriage is completed successfully.

Suresh tied the ‘mangalsutra’ around the neck of Priya at the auspicious time. Lakhsmi’s eyes turned moist with tears rolling out and her heart turned light with a sense of fulfillment. She embraced her close friend, guide and ‘conscience keeper’, Vijaya.

 

“I have done it, Vijaya”, Lakhsmi exclaimed with joy.

Next day, everyone was getting ready to leave the marriage hall. Lakshmi was standing at the entrance of the wedding hall, thanking and sending off her relatives. Suresh and Priya, fell at the feet of her parents, Lakshmi and Srinivas, seeking their blessings, got up, hugged them and got into the car. The car’s window lowered and Priya waved her hand to her parents, with tears rolling on her cheeks.

 

“Bye Maa, see you in Bangalore next week, will meet you then”, Priya whispered, her voice breaking with emotions. Lakshmi broke down, her pent up emotions showing up, on seeing off her daughter. The natural bond between a mother and daughter of twenty-four years was moving to a different phase in life.

Vijaya was standing next to Lakshmi and seeing her emotions, explained, “In life, only change is permanent and each phase of life will flow into the next, like water in a stream flows into a river”. Vijaya was able to bring back Lakshmi to normalcy. She had been doing such reasoning to her friend for very long.  

Vijaya and Lakshmi were childhood friends from their school days. Their friendship grew very thick over years, and after her marriage, Lakshmi discussed all family matters with Vijaya, whenever she wanted advice from her. Vijaya, was married for thirty years and was a lady with amazing common sense and an acumen for rational thinking. She had grown up in a joint family which had given higher patience level and listening skills to appreciate the other’s point of view. She could not do her graduation during her teens due to early marriage but had the motivation to get a BA (English) degree when she was thirty-five years old and mother of two kids. The success of their friendship was simple – both did not expect anything from each other –it was plain and pure.

A week later, Suresh’s parents hosted a grand reception in Bangalore. Lakshmi and Srinivas were in Bangalore to attend their daughter’s wedding reception. Priya was looking gorgeous in a grand designer Anarkali dress and Suresh was wearing a smart dark blue double-breasted suit.

The reception was held in a very grand and big function hall. The couple walked onto a grand decorated stage with flowers and focus lights beaming light from four corners of the stage. They sat on exquisitely carved and grandly decorated chairs with red velvet cushion, the chairs resembling a King’s throne of the bygone era.

 

A large gathering was present at the reception, considering both relatives and friends of Suresh’s family. Vijaya was interacting with many friends, whom she was meeting after a long time. On one side of the hall was a well defined, carpeted pathway created specifically for guests to queue up to go and wish the couple on the stage. The hall opened out into a large garden where there were more than 75 counters serving the buffet dinner. All varieties of food – South Indian, North Indian, Chinese, Indian Chaat, special sweets, desserts & ice creams and fruits were served to the guests.

Vijaya walked into the garden with two friends and helped herself with servings of Tandoori Roti with two curries and some rice. The chat amongst the friends was on the food, and how one cannot even touch sweets, leave alone eating it, as many were diabetic, cannot touch the spicy and excellently prepared north-Indian curries or the spicy but oily snacks, as many were scared of ‘bad cholesterol’, as if other cholesterol levels were healthy!!.

Vijaya reflected about the guests to her friends and declared that most of them cannot even eat one-fourth of the dishes served at the reception. After chatting with her for some time, the two friends moved over, as they found another interesting topic to discuss, with others.

Vijaya, sitting alone in her chair, had her eyes glued towards the stage watching guests greeting the couple with gift boxes, both big and small in size, cash covers, flower bouquet et all. Vijaya’s thoughts switched and went back in time, to her wedding reception almost thirty years ago. Vijaya was standing on the stage, a lean and very shy figure, along with her husband thanking relatives for attending the reception. Dinner was served on the table in a dining hall with the menu limited to typical South Indian food, much different from what she was eating at Priya’s reception today.

In that era conducting a marriage was a herculean task to the girl’s parents and the total cost was atleast 1/10^th of today. She thought that it was like just adding ‘one zero’ to the number – a Rs.100,000 that day would cost Rs.10,00,000 today!.

 

Only earning that “additional Zero” was a gargantuan task to any father of a daughter! She felt elated at her own musing!!  

 

She was comparing mentally – a small wedding hall that day, a grand huge hall today; a dining hall in the basement with creaking steel tables & chairs painted in army-green with many rusty patches, on a cement flooring, overlooking the kitchen with black greasy layer on the cooking oven, chimney and tube lights, wood as fuel, steel tumblers for drinking water, plantain leaves as plates and servers wearing dhoti without shirts and the kitchen Chief shouting and ordering his staff….; Today, the food  served in counters with a grand and variety menu, brightly lit garden decorated with grandeur, servers at each counter wearing a clean, crisp uniform, ceramic plates for eating, plastic glasses for water and round tables for guests to sit and eat the dinner.

Vijaya pondered, ‘God has not changed the capacity of an human stomach, and, over the years, the quantity everybody eats has in fact gone down, thanks to various lifestyle disorders, but the grandeur has increased, spending on food at weddings have increased. The only commonality between both the era, is the reality of a sizable population who struggle to even get one square meal a day and mostly go to bed hungry.’ Have we progressed as a country?

She reasoned to herself, ‘All of us, have the right to celebrate the wedding with grandeur to the extent one can afford, but should we also not make a promise that 10% of the amount spent on food in a wedding, be donated for feeding this deprived population. This has the capacity to ensure nobody in this great country go to bed hungry’.   

Six months after Priya’s marriage, one day, Vijaya’s mobile rang. ‘I am coming to your home now. Keep yourself free. I need to talk to you urgently’. Lakshmi sounded very tense and concerned.

Lakshmi was at Vijaya’s home within an hour of the phone call and made Vijaya worry about the urgency. Lakshmi came and sat next to her and started in a very low voice, “Priya called me today and was telling me that she is having ‘compatibility’ issues with Suresh. She was mentioning that Suresh was not willing to go back to USA as he felt he will have challenging and well paying assignment in Bangalore itself”.

Priya had always wished to go to USA to complete her Master’s Program and work in a MNC consulting company. That was her long time wish and goal. She felt that her goal was getting affected if Suresh stayed back in Bangalore. However, Suresh had his own compulsions. His father had recently undergone a By-pass heart surgery and he felt being in India would provide moral support to his parents. Suresh and Priya had discussed this issue at length and Priya was unable to convince him. His ideas were dogmatic, their thought process was different, and each not willing to yield to the other’s ideas and compatibility was coming apart within six months of their married life. 

Lakshmi after briefing the series of events told Vijaya “I still remember the day when you told me that ‘compatibility’ could become an issue. So, be sure before you proceed on this match”.

Vijaya vividly remembered the day when this word ‘compatibility’ was mentioned by her. It was about two years ago, when Lakshmi had come home and started narrating about how she felt Suresh could be an ideal match to her daughter. She had mentioned how her son, Arvind and Suresh were classmates from school, did engineering together, being room-mates at college hostel. Both went to USA for Masters Program in different Universities and started working in large software companies in the Silicon Valley. Suresh was a tall, good looking, very soft spoken boy, had all the good qualities of discipline, respect and above all a very brilliant boy.

When Suresh’s parents had come home on a Diwali day two years ago, to greet Lakshmi and Srinivas, the topic of finding a match for Priya came up. And Lakshmi stated that if she is able to find a boy similar to Suresh, she would immediately proceed with her marriage. Suresh’s mother, surprised with Lakshmi’s comment, said they did not have any inhibitions in proceeding with the match, if Suresh was also agreeable to the proposal. This statement opened up the marriage proposal of Suresh with Priya.

Later, Priya spoke about her own logic on how she needs time to think about this proposal, to align her own career after the marriage. When Lakshmi had insisted to Priya to look at this proposal without any pre-conceived notions, Priya objected to her mother’s idea and the haste with which she was proceeding. “Amma, Give me time to think, it is my life and I do not want to be pushed into it”, she had shouted to her mother.

Months passed by and then, Lakshmi planned a trip to USA with Priya, apparently to stay with her son, Arvind, but the other intention was to provide an opportunity for Priya to meet Suresh to get to know each other. Both of them met and discussed but were wondering whether they were ready to enter into the wedlock. However, Lakshmi was convinced on her gut feel and her thought process had become uni-dimensional.

Giving a patient hearing, Vijaya came out with her thoughts, “Lakshmi, look back in your own life, how you had fallen in love with Srinivas and after three years of talking, meeting and understanding each other, you broke the news to your parents”. Vijaya continued, “The initial resistance and unpleasantness of your parents, had to be overcome and you had explained how your love was understood by both and that the love was mutual and without any pre-conditions. Only after lot of convincing and discussions, both the parents had agreed and your marriage with Srinivas went on well”.

Vijaya reasoned out, “Look here, Lakshmi, your marriage was a love marriage, on mutual consent and originated from you both, not from your parents. But the marriage of your daughter, Priya with Suresh happens to be …, I will call it an ‘arranged love marriage’, arranged and made to work by you.”

But, ‘do not forget that I am her mother and will always think good for her’, Lakshmi retorted.

Vijaya calmed her friend and further continued on her reasoning process, “ In a love marriage, both the boy and girl take the responsibility of their own decision, but, in this proposal of ‘arranged love marriage,’ God forbid, if the marriage does not work or gets into trouble, you as parent have to take the responsibility. This is because, you, as parent, initiated the marriage proposal. On the other hand, in an arranged marriage, even though it is a thing of the past, it has its own advantage – both the boy and girl do not know each other before marriage and both would feel that they need time to adjust to each other and in the worst case, if their marriage hits a dead-lock, both will blame it on destiny. However, in Priya’s case, if at all ‘compatibility’ issues come up later, it will be tough for you to handle it because you are instrumental in the match making”, Vijaya’s sermon to her friend concluded.

A marriage forced on the boy and girl by whatever logic attached to it, is like a flowerpot cracker, which can glow into beautiful sparkles or burst with a big sound, and only the person lighting the cracker takes the blame or responsibility, as the case may be.

Now, when Lakshmi was leaving her home, Vijaya, being her true friend, advised, “Explain and reason out to Priya that every marriage requires and takes its own time to settle down and only time will ensure the marriage works”. Marriage is not a 2-minute noodle but a time consuming dish which will taste good for ever only if cooked for its full duration. The bonds of matrimony are like any other bond - they mature slowly.

Six months later, as Priya’s first wedding anniversary was approaching, Lakshmi’s mobile rang at 7 a.m in the morning. It was from Priya. “Amma, Suresh left for USA yesterday night; and I am at my friend’s place”. Lakshmi’s worried voice replied, “Is everything ok with you?”

“Amma, do you remember me talking on ‘compatibility issue’. Last week, we had an argument about how important is my career and how marriage is only a phase in the entire journey of life. My explanations were treated with utmost contempt by Suresh and I am not here to listen to nonsense from anybody. You said we made a great match and you forced me into this…. I do not want to say any further.……” Priya’s voice increased with every word. She sounded very disillusioned and unhappy.

An hour later, a worried Lakshmi, passed through Security Check at the airport and climbed up the ramp into an Indigo Flight to Bangalore, not knowing what was in store for her.

‘Had she made a mistake of her life?’ she pondered, looking out of the window as the aircraft took off into the blue sky……

 

-       Venkatesh